


Everything and Nothing

by usopping



Series: Take Me Home [3]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-28 00:06:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6305677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/usopping/pseuds/usopping
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Usopp is suffering. Luffy tries to talk to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Everything and Nothing

Weeks went by and turned into months. There was school and hang-outs and parties and drama, but Usopp felt somehow detached from it all. There was Christmas and Chopper's birthday. Then there was a New Year's Eve bash. The end of January saw semester one's exam week, and of course they celebrated its end. Robin and Vivi's birthdays were next. By Valentine's Day, Nami and Vivi had officially been going out for almost three months. That party was particularly uncomfortable. Usopp had not had a drop to drink after the disastrous November night with Sanji, the event he now referred to as "The Incident". Being the only sober one in the room was a lonely feeling at best, but watching Sanji get all flirty and noodley with Nami and Vivi despite the fact that the latter was sitting in the former's lap was a whole new brand of suffering. Usopp wasn't sure which was stronger - the second-hand embarrassment, the disgust that Sanji would disrespect the couple that way (drunk or not), or the jealousy that had been rearing its ugly head more and more frequently no matter how often Usopp reminded himself that he had no right to be jealous.

_He isn't yours and he never will be,_ Usopp said to himself yet again.  _Ignore him. Nami'll kick his ass any minute now._

No sooner had he thought it than there was a CRASH and Sanji went tumbling to the ground, having been punched by a sweetly smiling Nami. Luffy and Zoro lost it, elbowing each other as they laughed, and Chopper used the distraction to steal the win in the video game the three of them were playing. Robin giggled behind her hand, and even Vivi cracked a smile, though she still managed to look apologetic. Sanji grinned sheepishly as he sat up and announced, "I'm okay!"

"Damn," said Zoro. "Hit him harder next time, Nami!"

"The hell did you say, moss-head!?" Sanji snarled.

The two started bickering, which seemed to amuse Robin greatly, but birthed another twinge of jealousy in Usopp's gut. He got up abruptly and walked to the kitchen. He grabbed a can of cola out of the fridge and leaned against the counter, staring numbly across the room at the sink, the same sink next to which he'd given Sanji bedroom eyes and asked, "What are you gonna do to me?" when Sanji had come to tell him he was walking him home. It was barely three months since, but it felt like an eternity. Usopp had thought it couldn't get worse or more humiliating, but here he was, feeling like an outsider among his closest friends, and getting jealous of  _Zoro_ , of all people. He and Sanji had been bitching at each other since the day they met, and all it had made Usopp feel before was amused or annoyed, depending on the situation. That he would have welcomed even that kind of interaction with Sanji made Usopp feel pathetic.

He was in too deep.

It wasn't as if Sanji ignored him. They still talked and joked and hung out with their friends. Sanji acted just like he always had towards Usopp. As he had said the morning after The Incident, nothing had changed. And yet, just as Usopp had feared, everything had changed. It was as though an invisible barrier had been erected between them. Certainly, Usopp was now afraid to touch Sanji even by accident, let alone elbowing him, throwing an arm around his neck, or any sort of rough-housing that used to be normal within the friend group. But it was more than that. He found himself obsessively watching what he said around Sanji, afraid to let slip anything that could be interpreted badly, though he himself wasn't even sure what that really meant. Conversations Usopp was part of wound up being rife with awkward pauses and stuttered statements spoken too quickly in a forced "casual" tone.

Part of Usopp wanted to believe it was all in his head, that he was totally imagining the barrier and the awkwardness and the way Sanji was almost  _too_ nice to him. But even he couldn't make himself believe such a colossal lie. He knew the others had noticed. At first it was just Robin and Nami, but pretty soon Luffy and Zoro started giving him looks, and when Vivi was clued in and Chopper caught on, it was impossible to escape the glances. Nami's were suspicious, Robin's knowing, Zoro's and Luffy's curious, and Vivi's and Chopper's full of worry, and each one made Usopp feel ... guilty. He was ruining everyone's fun with his stupid crush, making them worry over such a pointless thing. He put a damper on every party and hang-out just by being there. If it had been all in his head, at least he would have been the only one suffering.

Luckily that night, the glances had been few. Sugary treats and plenty of alcohol washed away his friends' worries. Usopp only wished he could partake. But he couldn't allow that. He'd done a lot of stupid stuff while drunk, but The Incident was the last straw. He couldn't risk making things even worse, and if that meant never drinking again, that was fine by him.

"Usopp?" Luffy came bounding into the kitchen and Usopp was pulled out of his thoughts. "Whatcha doing in here?"

"Oh, uh..." He held up is pop can. "Got thirsty."

"There's lot's to drink in the other room," Luffy said.

"Yeah ... not in the mood," Usopp mumbled.

At that, Luffy fixed him with a sharp look. There was a clarity in his eyes that belied his drunkenness. "What's gotten into you lately? Is everything okay?"

Usopp suppressed a groan. He'd known it was only a matter of time before someone confronted him, but why now? And why Luffy? He was by far the hardest to lie to, not because Usopp couldn't bring himself to do it, but because Luffy's bullshit detector was always on point when it came to this kind of thing. Usopp wouldn't have been surprised if Luffy had already pieced together the gist of the problem.

"I'm ... taking a break from booze," Usopp said slowly. Technically it wasn't a lie. "Not really feeling it."

"Hmm. But aside from that," said Luffy, who they both knew hadn't been questioning his decision not to drink. "You seem kind of down. Is everything okay?" he repeated.

Usopp debated how to answer. Perhaps he should just tell Luffy the truth. He was relatively certain Luffy wouldn't tell anyone. But Usopp just simply did not want to get into the gory details, not with Luffy, not with anyone. It was too embarrassing. Too damn  _pathetic._

"Does it have to do with Sanji?" Luffy prodded.

Usopp choked on the gulp of cola he'd been in the process of taking to buy himself some time, and panicked when realization dawned on his friend's face.

"It - it's not - I mean, I just...." he stuttered. "Wh-Why would you...?"

Luffy shrugged. "He's been acting weird, too. Do you like him?"

Despite what he'd been thinking mere moments earlier, Usopp was stunned.  _Too damn perceptive._ He sighed. "Yeah."

"And he doesn't like you," Luffy said more than asked.

"Of course he doesn't," Usopp replied, mumbling again.

"Hmm."

Silence fell. The laughter and chatter from the other room seemed suddenly amplified. Someone had broken out the karaoke machine. Nami was singing a pop song from the 80s. Usopp could hear Vivi and Sanji cheering her on.

"Please don't say anything," Usopp whispered.

Luffy tilted his head to the side and gave him a searching look, but said, "Okay."

"I'm gonna head home."

"Really? I thought we were all gonna stay over!"

"I'm not feeling very well." Again, it wasn't technically a lie. He hadn't felt well since The Incident. A low-boiling anxiety occupied his gut day in, day out, keeping him on edge and feeling like he was gonna puke out one vital organ or another at any moment.

"Usopp, it'll be okay," Luffy said, his expression so serious that for a second or two, Usopp almost believed him.

"Yeah," he said, his voice hollow even to his own ears. "I know."

He chugged the rest of his cola, chucked the can into the recycling bin in the corner, and trudged out of the kitchen, acutely aware of Luffy's eyes on his back, and the sounds of their friends in the other room, apparently not fazed by their absence.

 


End file.
